AOC and Pelosi Draft Bill Giving 23 Billion Dollar Stimulus Bailout to Sanctuary Cities

ARE THEY CRAZY??!!!1!!

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s official statement regarding the new bill:

“Illegal immigrants are essential workers, they are far more qualified than natural-born American citizens to perform jobs such as railroad software maintenance, refinery operations, bartending, and farm production development. We need to provide funds to sanctuary cities to keep them employed.”

Pelosi had this to say:

“What? I don’t remember drafting anything, I’ve been alternating Jaeger Bombs and Boilermakers for like a week straight, I’m lit up like a Christmas tree right now, I’ve been completely shitfaced for months.”

Nancy LOVES her booze.

Washington State Governor Jay Inslee commented in a press briefing:

“This is a wonderful plan, we love our illegals, they do jobs for pennies on the dollar that your average citizen has priced themselves out of. I recently had meetings with Seattle Mayor Sandy Batt and Spokane Mayor Joe Barron, they are both on board to make their cities full illegal sanctuaries so our great state of Washington can suck up some of this awesome socialism.”

Inslee is the guy in the middle.

Spokesperson for Mitch McConnell, Susan Scott, had this to say:

“Jay Inslee is a corporate stooge. I can’t believe he tried to run for president, much less comment on this proposed bill, which is quite frankly ridiculous. You know if the drunk and the failed bartender somehow manage to get the votes on this thing it will just sit on Mitch’s desk for all eternity.”

All of us at Paid Liberal Trolls For Jesus (subsidiary of the America’s Last Line Of Defense group of revolutionaries) are waiting with great anticipation to see how this will unfold.

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You guys, I'm REALLY fucking stoned right now. Does Paid Liberal Trolls drug test for the marijuanas? God I hope not, I just injected 8 of them!