NY’s Nobou Closed, Nearby Mexican Taqueria Remains Open

UNBELIEVABLE!

Tempers are beginning to flare in the Empire state, as closures mandated by governor Andrew Cuomo have begun to receive criticism for outright hypocrisy.  Even journalistic titan Newsmax refers to the measures as “Draconian”, and among many examples is legendary New York eatery Nobou, which remains closed, losing owners thousands of dollars per day while just two spots down the street, a small Mexican Taqueria “Las Nalgas Puercas” operates with no such limitations.

                  “Machete loves Nalgas.”

Nobou’s well-known owner and celebrity chef Sanders Batt is outraged by what he sees as a glaring hypocritical crime, based on racial bias, politics, and, somehow, communism.  He let loose to Bill O’Reilly’s voicemail yesterday.

“This is absolutely the worst thing that has ever happened in all of human existence.  Slavery and the holocaust are nothing compared to how our governor has disabled my business and my ability to serve an amazing fois gras on a toasted brioche as an appetizer for sixty dollars.  What this is is blatant disregard for my first amendment rights.  We New Yorkers are sick and tired of all this pandemic nonsense.  Many, literally.  If some people have to give their lives for a daily profit, that’s just what America is.  We’re not communist China.  And we’re not Mexico either, governor Taco.”

Nobou is actually a less-successful and far lower rated eatery based on the accredited “Nobu” restaurant.  The trend of “Rip-Off Restaurants” has become popular in the city following the success of such facilities as “The French Laundromat” in the San Francisco bay area and the proliferation of “Gefilte Garden” Hebrew comfort food franchises across the east coast.

Jews are pretty well known for their delicious seafood. Just kidding. It tastes exactly like it looks.

What people want to know is where and when these terrible sacrifices will finally end and is petty jealousy less important than allowing a small sliver of the population to choke to death.  If you’re a patriotic Trump realist and Newsmax fan, the answer to that question lies bundled safely up your asspipe.

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