With President Trump nearly pushed to his limits handling a national pandemic emergency by trying to cover up all the lies he previously stated with haphazard tossing of responsibilities to hopefully, better minds, it seems like the liberal Democrats have decided to use this state of confusion to push their agenda on a country in peril. Once again, their target is one of their favorites, the second amendment.
Montana Senator Joe Barron, a freshman liberal Democrat who was narrowly elected in 2018 by riding on an agenda of marijuana legalization and providing indoor plumbing for hayseeds who spend countless hours pooping in wooded areas, called a press-conference early this afternoon to address his state’s responses to the ongoing crisis that Trump could have made headway on had he chosen to act months ago when he was warned to do so. However, Barron also took the time to suggest a sinister plan:
“I also think, to avoid what’s almost inevitable among the psychotic crowd of Trump-worshipping ammosexuals, some kind of panicked shooting incident over a roll of Charmin at the local Piggly Wiggly, that we should temporarily ban the carrying of firearms by private citizens. I’d stress the word ‘temporary.’ We will simply send friendly agents of FEMA door-to-door to confiscate these guns until we know what we’re dealing with and until the entire crisis subsides. It’s for the safety of all innocent Americans, and is in no way a ‘gun grab’ that will require a parade down the street in Las Vegas causing brave liberal trolls on vacation to abandon their pizza to confront. So lets not have any bother. Word up.”
The firearm confiscation agenda is being written into bill form as we go to press, and is expected to have full support of the Congress and much of the Senate. Lawmakers have been assured by Republican Mitt Romney that they have his vote for the measaure, should it require an extra push of bi-partisianship.