12 Most Bizarre Lines From Biden’s Press Conference

has he completely lost it?

On Friday night former Vice President and Presidential candidate Joe Biden held one of his first press conferences since emerging from his basement in Delaware. His performance was, in a word, rambling and reinforces the suspicion that he is not fit to be president.

I went through the transcript and pulled out the 12 most bizarre lines that you absolutely have to see. They’re listed below:

1. “I’m intelligent. Some people would say I’m very, very intelligent.”

In responding to President Trump’s claim that he is mentally unfit to serve. Also: away we go!

2. “I’ve never attacked him on his looks, and believe me, there’s plenty of subject matter right there.”

A presidential (!) candidate not wanting to comment on his opponent’s looks. Riiiiight.

3. “I have never seen a thin person drink Diet Coke.”

Wait. I thought he wasn’t going to say anything about his looks.

4. “We have just great enthusiasm in the party. I don’t think we have ever had it, even more so than 2016. And you see what’s going on with the polls.”

Um, yes, we do see what’s going on with the polls. And it ain’t pretty.

5. “And we are going to win. And we are going to win sooner rather than later.”

Overconfidence much? Again: the polls ain’t pretty. Also: how does one win an election sooner rather than later?

6. I think it was radical right people that are totally controlling him, like a puppet. I don’t think it’s him. I don’t think he even knows what we’re talking about.”

Biden has repeatedly and without evidence suggested that the president is being controlled by outside forces, including Putin.

7. “And if you’re not 100 percent on your game, if you’re not 100 percent sharp-plus, you’ve got a problem.”

Biden on comparing himself to the president. He’s 100 percent sharp-plus!

8. “So, they’re investigating something that never happened.”

Biden on the Durham investigation into his administration spying on the Trump campaign. Riiiight.

9. “I would bet if you took a poll in the FBI I would win that poll by more than anyone’s ever won a poll.”

Biden fantasizing about polls again. Plus: “They won’t investigate me because I’m more popular than Trump!”

10. “What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not happening.”

Just Biden saying that any reporting on him isn’t real. Perfectly normal stuff, folks! Nothing to see here!

11. “At some point, we’re going to have to do something that’s much stronger than being invited in. But we have to be invited in.”

Your guess is as good as mine.

12. “There was no way — I understand the system very well, I understand being president very well, there was no way this could have gone out without — gone down without President Trump knowing every single thing.”

“President” Joe Biden on knowing more than actual President Trump. Yeah, this feels like a good place to end.

With sincere apologies to, and a deep respect for, Chris Cillizza.

About Watt A Plonker 35 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London, where he shares a flat with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

Be the first to comment