As one of only three impeached Presidents in American history, Donald Trump is about to learn many of the consequences surrounding the punishment for his disregard for the law of the land. Constitutional expert and legal professor Joe Barron has published an annotated notice backed-up by hundreds of his piers confirming that the morbidly obese failed leader will be denied a Presidential library in his name.
According to the well-respected scholor, the founding fathers specifically intended the honor of a Presidential library to be bestowed upon a leader who was beloved, intelligent, and respectful of the Constitution and the citizenry. Trump’s impeachment guarantees that none of those qualifications apply.
“I’m aware that many of the former President’s less brainy supporters, which, frankly, is all of them, to this day confuse ‘impeachment’ with ‘criminally convicted’, and no doubt we’ll hear from them. This is what happens when a group of D-students suddenly declare themselves superpatriots and dangle teabags in their own faces. Someday their grandchildren will put green faced ‘Mr. Yuck’ stickers over their faces in family portraits.”
The now rejected vision for the Trump library consisted re-purposing the Mar-a-lago venue “Uncle Finger’s Porn Emporium and Goo Theater” into a three-story structure to house the former President’s collections of hamburder wrappers, pornographic documents, and discarded adderall bags. Sadly, that paradise of remembrance of the years 2016 to 2020 will now be only a pipe dream.
A collection of other considerable honors has also been mothballed due to the failed douchebag-in-chief’s overwhelming incompetence and historical slowdown. Some of these include the halt of production of any Franklin Mint commemorative collector’s plates, the minimizing of the Trump animatronic figure’s lines in Disney’s Hall of Presidents attraction to “Ook?”, and his disinclusion from all school textbooks.
Trump’s presidential portrait will also be drawn by Mad Magazine and Groo artist Sergio Aragones and be displayed over the White House’s rear dumpster.