Texas Electric Company Shuts Down To Protest Abortion Law

UNBELIEVABLE!

It’s a very simple idea made public years ago that many people don’t seem to understand: “Dont screw with the women, because then you’ll just end up screwing your own ass.”

“Kinda works for a few years but then everything starts chafing. Peace out, bitchcocks.”

It’s a mantra playing itself over and over again today in Texas as the second largest electric company on the planet, Texas Electric, has come to a grinding halt and covered the Lone Star State in a shroud of hideous and all-encompassing darkness.  Because of the childish and backwards new abortion law.

At Big Bubba’s Bouncing Beefery in Lubbock, manager Joe Barron sighs as he walks through the darkened hallways of his job, dusting and quietly shitting himself.

“Y’all, ah went ahead and thought this was some kinda Antifa trick at first.  You know?  With the lights?  But then ah called up the comp’ny, and weren’t no kind of answer ‘cept a recordin’.  It says if ah had any problems, ah was free ta go and eff mahself.  Now what kinda talk is THAT?”

Our own calls to the electric utility line received similar results, along with a second recording describing the enslavement of women as “disgusting and massively old fashioned for 2021 – Like Phil Collins.”

Collins is seen here auditioning for the new Marvel film : “The X-Men Meet Banana Bonsai.”

Sandra Batt, a waitress at Uncle Skunklebutt’s in Goiter slowly weeps while she wipes off her tables with a dirty rag – not knowing that it’s dirty because of her night blindness.  Which, actually, hasn’t much to do with this story, but I thought it would look good as an ending note.   A little emotion.

As Texas breaks down into chaos and disorder, governor Greg Abbott continues to hold firm to his stupid law as if God Herself was planning to come down and pat his bald ass little cone top.  That may happen sooner rather than later.  It’s labor day weekend.  People are out running around and shit.

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