After Investigation, Dems Acquit Cuomo

DISGUSTING!

To the public eye, it seems like an unforgivable offense.  New York governor Andrew Cuomo appears to be responsible not only for incompetence in his behavior regarding the transfer of elderly people to the state’s nursing homes, but also scandalous lack of transparency for seemingly covering up the extent of the problem.

Although the discovery of Putin’s DNA in all three of Trump’s kids is going to be harder to explain.

To the Democratic political eye, however, it was just a mistake stemming from lack of information and the chaos wrought during the early days of the Trump Plague pandemic and simple clerical errors taken to extreme mongering critique by shitty teabagger “news” outlets like Newsmax and OAN to feed their ratings.

Joe Barron of the Soros New York Cell laid out the results of the investigation to media sources this morning from the fairgrounds of a women’s hurdle race with transgender athletes in it in Buffalo, New York.

“What it really came down to is that this pandemic’s spread across the nation is the fault of Donald Trump, plain and simple. Then instead of helping, which the federal government is equipped to do during such an event, Trump left action up to each individual state.  Now if the Senate acquitted him after fomenting a goddamn treasonous insurrection, he can do nothing wrong, right?  So by that logic, Cuomo is not guilty.  His future political aims far outweigh any deaths.  Don’t blame us.  That’s the Republican precedence.”

The acquittal seems to center on the lessons learned from former President Trump’s recent impeachment pussy-out, which sets a bar for persecution of criminal activity lower than Lindsey Graham’s sperm count.  In fact, Bill Cosby’s legal team has just filed for a mistrial pointing out that the comedian didn’t “force” anyone to drink anything personally with a weapon.

“I saw everything from the Jello room. Every glass had a sticker that said: ‘Sex Juice’ right on it.”

Cuomo is reportedly satisfied with the acquittal and says he’s ready to get back to the business of governing.  A benefit of the case that Donald Trump will never again enjoy.

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