Chinese Company To Sell ‘Covid Bubbles’ in U.S.

UNBELIEVABLE!

There’s one thing you can definitely say for the Chinese – they take advantage of any opportunity that they’re presented.  And it shows in their booming economy.

Although many Chinese are angry about some unfinished business with Kurt Russel.

In a story thats causing quite a bit of consternation within the political community, Chinese Corporation Sandee Bhatt Enterprises has begun selling “Covid Safety Bubbles” in the United States.  The ten foot around hermetically sealed living compartments are meant to keep a single person safe from any outside contaminants, and are guaranteed to be strong enough to use in everyday American life.  Selling first online, and now this week in brick and mortar outlets like Wal-Mart and Bed, Bath, and Bubbles, they are flying off the shelves as average citizens rush to protect themselves against the viral pandemic that impeached President Trump doesn’t seem to give even half an airborne fuck about.

“But”, some are asking, “Is it right that a Chinese company should profit off a deadly pandemic that actually started IN China?  Corporate spokesman Chow Mi Nipps released a statement, which our mail room boy used Google to translate:

“Good Yankee gunmans and sluts!  New Covid Happy Bubble make so much safety for hiding healthy life breathing!  In Avengers movie like superhero Big Ant Man put you in GIANT hands protect sneezing and all door window germ!  When eat alone joy is sure in Bubble house HA HA!  Buy today and give sexy Bubble fun for HUGE President and fish egg wife less worry in White Castle!  Is best AMERICAN way for Rambo and Apple Cake!  You be AVENGERS ASSEMBLY!”

“HULK SMASH ANGRY PENIS MONKEY! BOO!”

Each protective Covid “Bubble” is priced to coincide with the recent stimulus relief bill, retailing at about $1200.00.  If you’re looking for a way to stay safe during this crisis, and you’ve wisely given up on expecting our morbidly obese Failure Samuri to help, it might be wise to stop hating Communism and embrace the hammer and sicle…and bubble…for now.

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