Barron Trump Petitions For Emancipation From Parents

WOW.

In the world of fame and fortune, children of celebrities, power players, and, yes, political figures sometimes get overwhelmed by the attention and publicity they can unwantedly attract.  Some key cases come to mind like former youth actor McCully Culkin and Britney Spears, both of whom alleged that their parents were unjustly profiting from their lives.

Culkin now keeps 100% of the money he makes panning for change with a frisbee at a sewage treatment plant.

That list just got it’s most regal and political member yesterday as former First son Barron Trump filed preliminary paperwork in a Florida court to have himself legally emancipated from his parents Donald and Ivanka Trump.  This primary step will lead to a few weeks of interviews, written and oral testimonies by friends and family members, and a comprehensive safety and welfare examination by child protective services.

Close friend and schoolmate of the youngest apprentice, Joe Barron, says his longtime chum has a long list of disturbing complaints about his treatment and the perils of being the progeny of America’s biggest failure of a leader.

“At the lunch table at CAW, he tells us every day how embarrassed he is of his dad.  (CAW is the abbreviation for the Caucasian Academy for Whites.)  He doesn’t want to grow up fat and stupid like that, and he feels like his parents are pushing him into that mold.  Some of the other kids call him stuff like ‘Traitor Tot’ and ‘Jim Jones Junior’, and it bothers him.”

“He genuinely wants nothing to do with the whole Trump family.  He told me that when the case finishes up, he’s changing his name to ‘John McCain’ just to send a message to them.  I truly wish him the best because he’s a good kid in a Hills Have Eyes situation.”

Also, his brother keeps stealing his phone cases to put his coke spoons in.

If the emancipation is approved and becomes legally binding, Barron may be throwing away a large inheritance, should his father have anything left at all after the next couple of years.  I guess sometimes it’s worth the price to be free of the baby cage.

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