Pelosi Proposes Ban on Singing in Churches

UNBELIEVABLE!

Americans have made a lot of sacrifices for the current pandemic crisis, just to meet obligations designed to keep us all safe and alive and to help eradicate this terribly infectious Covid-19 virus.  But even after carefully reopening some more essential services, including allowing citizens to exercise their right to worship God with their brethren again, leading Democrats still can’t help but overreach in their campaign against religious faith.  Stomping ahead like an atheist Godzilla in that campaign is Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

Quick! Someone send Japanese chicks to sing at Chuck Schumer’s cave to wake his Mothra ass up to help!

Taking a supposed cue from a suggestion that California governor Gavin Newsom may have made according to Facebook pages run by clinically mentally handicapped zealots, Pelosi believes that raising one’s voice to sing to the Lord in a church requires the unmasking of a worshipper and, therefore, is an inherent danger in spreading the virus.  She wants to ban it altogether.

Is this really a good idea though? We asked Sandra Batt, former expert on spitting from Fox News’s Hannity program for her thoughts on the sticky business.

“The virus is carried in droplets.  If you take off your mask in church where there’s about forty or so wrinkly porkers warbling ‘Jesus is the Swellest’ or whatever the fuck it is that they sing, yes, that’s forty gray old flapping tongues drooling disease-juice through their cracked dollar-store-lipsticked holes.  I mean, its a good idea to maybe not go to a church in the first place for a few months in the first place.  God will hear you at home.  He made the virus, right?  I’m sure he’ll understand.  So yes, Nancy is right again, and Trump’s shitarmy will of course go mental over it.  Sometimes I think the Avengers should have just let Thanos have a map with places like Alabama and Texas circled on it.”

“MODOK will serve justice to Kentucky. MODOK hates fried chicken. Tiny hands can’t get it to mouth.”

The ban still has to be officially written up and submitted for a vote.  It may just be a matter of time until Christians have to keep their mouths shut and just play music on their 8-track decks.

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