Ted Nugent Files for Divorce

No One Liked Shemane Anyway

While it has long been rumored that the marriage of Ted and his wife Shemane was on the rocks, the classic rocker dropped a big surprise in the second part of his announcement.

It’s official: Ted Nugent and Tiffany Trump are engaged to be married.

The happy couple is expected to tie the knot sometime this fall after Ted’s divorce is final. The wedding ceremony and reception will be held at President Trump’s Mar A Lago resort in Florida, where they first met four years ago when Ted was playing golf with the President. They had been dating off and on ever since, with Tiffany frequently visiting Ted at his home in Waco, Texas on weekends.

According to inside sources, the couple will spend their honeymoon in Africa, where they plan to spend some time in the picturesque seaside resort of Mombasa in Kenya, while also going big game hunting in Wakanda, where King T’Challa, who is a close personal friend of President Trump and long time ally, will serve as their personal guide in honor of the newlywed couple. It is expected that the couple will also attend the grand opening of Trump Tower Lagos in Nigeria, whose construction is expected to be completed in late fall.

Only a total douchebag would kill Cecil the Lion.

President Trump was told about the engagement over the weekend while Ted and Tiffany were visiting him in his bunker at the White House.

According to sources, the President was extremely pleased with the announcement, stating:

“Ted has always been my friend. He likes his women young, and I do, too. So why not? He could do a lot worse than Tiffany, that I can tell you. It will be a huge wedding, the likes of which we have never seen in the history of the country.”

About Watt A Plonker 40 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London, where he shares a flat with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

Be the first to comment