Montel Williams Calls Kamala ‘A Black Hero’ at DNC

OH PLEASE.

The Democratic national convention continues for the bulk of this week, presumably culminating in the official nomination of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris as candidates for President and Vice President of the United States.  Guest speakers at the virtual event include several progressive celebrities, and the latest to make waves was actor and host Montel Williams, who used his time mostly to stump for his personal friend Harris.

“Kamala is a full-fledged black hero,” the entertainer gushed to massive applause.  “She has already achieved more than any other black woman in history, and when she and Mr. Biden are victorious and throw that incapable racist prick Trump out on his ass, she will be a legend.”

Like that brave American savior in seat 57.

Montel’s relationship to the California barrister goes back years, when the two met at a premiere of the Barry Gordy movie “The Last Dragon” in Hollwood.  Williams came dressed as one of the movie’s stars, villainous “Sho Nuff”, while Harris was a guest of former Prince girlfriend Sandy Batt.  Although the pair did not engage in sexual intercourse, they did share a large tub of popcorn and a package of Sour Patch Kids.

Williams has recently taken up with the Black Lives Matter movement, donating time and money to the civil rights cause.  He often divides his time between such charity work and his hit television program, where he does out sexual and relationship advice to teenagers, cautioning them against rash actions before: “Bingo, bango, they’re pregnant.”  Montel alone has reduced unwanted pregnancies in America by far more than even close-up photos of Donald Trump Jr. featured on condom wrappers.

Junior just recently stopped calling his toes “foot fingers”, and is only two years away from a degree in Coloring Books.

As the election season ramps up, fat and stupid conservatives nationwide have already begun labelling Kamala as “not black”, an unsurprisingly racist tactic that may not work.  Are the retarded opinions of halfwitted old wobble-zombies supposed to harm or help her with such accusations?  Who knows.  Bingo, bango, suddenly the Trump crowd are pregnant with stupid yet again.

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