Obama Gave $3.7 Million to Wuhan Lab

Nothing good can possibly come of this

After months of exhaustive investigation, we’ve learned that former President Obama somehow managed to deliver $3.7 Million in grant money to the notorious Wuhan lab in China – the suspected source of the coronavirus. Such grants were prohibited in 2014, yet Obama was able to divert the funding from a NIH project that was working on a cure for gout.

Our investigation revealed that the money was delivered over Memorial Day weekend 2017 when real Americans were honoring the memory of our fallen soldiers by grilling frozen burgers from a box and drinking Natty Light. According to flight records, Obama used the same unmarked plane that he used to deliver $400 Million to Iran.

Natural Light in its Natural Environment

Senior Investigative Reporter Joe Barron spoke to the pilot who wanted to be identified only by his callsign, ‘Bigdog.’ He gave us the following account of the events:

“I really didn’t want to do this flight after the Iran thing, but I have a structured settlement and I need cash now. They told me that I’d be back by noon on Memorial Day with lots of cash in my pocket, so I took the job.

When I got there, I landed at an airstrip behind the Wuhan lab and military officials were waiting to unload the money. As soon as they were done, they pointed weapons at me and told me to get the hell out. They wouldn’t even give me a couple minutes to grab a Sweet and Sour Chicken Combo with a side of Crab Raccoons to go, so I left. That’s all I know.”

Some unanswered questions remain. What was the money used for? How did Obama benefit from the payment?

If history is any indicator, this allegation will get swept under the rug along with all of the others, and Obama will get off scot-free. Again.

About Slatz Grobnik 11 Articles
Slatz Grobnik spent decades power-drinking with some of America's most popular newspaper columnists, learning all there is to know about Fake News. Now, he's on our side.

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