Biden Vows to Expand Supreme Court, Appoint Both Obamas

more supremes!

Presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden announced today that one of the top priorities of his presidency will be to expand the Supreme Court from nine justices to eleven. Further, the soon to be President announced that he would be appointing both former President Obama and former First Lady Michelle to the Supreme Court, with Barack Obama serving as Chief Justice.

While there is historical precedent for a former president serving on the Supreme Court in the form of one William Howard Taft, it would be the first time in United States history that a husband and wife team would be serving as justices together.

Biden transition team spokesperson Joe Barron explained:

“Joe Biden and the Democratic leadership have been extremely dissatisfied with the rulings coming out of the Supreme Court. In almost all matters of national importance the justices have voted 5-4 along political lines to further the Republican agenda and favor big business at the expense of the American people. This needs to stop.

By expanding the court to eleven justices and immediately appointing Barack and Michelle Obama to fill the two new slots we will restore the balance in favor of a Democratic agenda with a 6-5 majority. Both Obamas are more than qualified to fill the positions and we are confident that the new Democratic Senate Majority will quickly confirm them once Joe Biden has assumed the presidency in January.”

Reached via Skype, current Senate Minority leader Chuck Schumer confirmed the plan:

“This is definitely going to happen.  There is nothing in the constitution that says we can’t do it. We are going to ensure that Kavanaugh, Gorsuch and the Republican agenda are effectively neutered, just as Nancy Pelosi has neutered President Trump and is now carrying his balls in her purse.”

If this were to happen, which is definitely not out of the realm of possibilities given Trump’s unpopularity, it would be a big win for the American people. So let’s celebrate with some cake!

About Watt A Plonker 31 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London, where he shares a flat with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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