Q-Anon Claims Putin Shared Soldier Bounty Payments With Trump

Q is For Quandry!

An explosive “drop” from the mysterious and well-connected source known only as “Q-Anon” yesterday, claimed that Vladmir Putin had been sharing the money paid to Taliban fighters for targeting U.S. soldiers with none other than President Trump.  The message came with what appeared to be classified documents proving the accusation.

Although to be fair, three of them are just about how Pence has been hiding tiny cameras in Justin Beiber’s bathroom.

At press time, the White House and administration officials have made no official response to the report, but Joe Barron, Secretary of Conspiracies, gave an off-the-record statement to the crowd at an Outback Steakhouse in Queeferville, New Jersey.

“Q-Anon is basically like Bigfoot for trumptards who are actually too stupid even for flat earthing.  I seriously doubt there’s any truth to a rumor spread by someone who is probably a 15-year old kid connected to 4Chan to see how long he can keep a few thousand old ladies believing that they’re going to be big heroes for chasing after Tom Hanks with some nonsense about child trafficking.  I mean, if there was a REAL Q so concerned with the crime, why isn’t he encouraging people to go after those crazy drug kingpins in the Congo?  It’s pretty depressing that there are so many people dumb enough to fall for Q, but it’s more disturbing that all of them are scrotum-fellaters of the President.”

The conspiracy theory phenomenon has been becoming more and more mainstream, a reality that has troubled mental health professionals and politicos alike.  Last week, egg-eyed Georgia nutcase Marjorie Taylor Green, a Q-anon wackjob was elected to Congress by the citizens of America’s, evidently, dumbest state.

Ooo, sorry Alabama. I guess someone somewhere actually graduated this year.

What will this stunning revelation mean to Trump’s most gullible portion of his support base?  Will they turn away from Q, and finally come to terms with their own idiocy, or will they turn on the morbidly obese failure of a terribly-chosen leader that, until now, they’ve worshipped?  I guess we’ll see as one when we see as all.

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