Liberal Florida City Cancels Trump Rally – Claims He ‘Can’t Pay His Bills’

PRAY FOR OUR PRESIDENT OF 2032!

With thousands of tickets already sold to what was clear to be a capacity crowd, the Trump 2020 rally to take place in the Chik-Fil-A Arena north of Queeferton, Florida has been unceremoniously cancelled.

City planners and accountants claim the funds to provide security, facility rental costs, and dozens of other concerns, paid by check from the Trump Administration itself were not covered, and that the account behind the payment returned the document with the sole explanation: “insufficient funds.”

Some speculate that the first lady commisioning a dress to confirm her status as an X-Men villain may have drained a bit of money.

The full charge for the event had totalled approximately $300,000.  Since the President claims to be an independently wealthy billionaire, the bounced check raises allegations that he may not, after all, be entirely solvent, which would help explain his reticence to release his tax forms publically.

Sanders Batt, head of the Independent Accounting firm of Ricky, Bubbles, and Julian contends that that is exactly the case :

“Trump, in reality, is barely a millionaire.  If that.  All of his bragged-about ‘fortune’ is on paper and presumed value.  All of those buildings with his name on them?  He doesn’t actually own them.  He made deals to put his name on them.  After his tax-rape of New York and his continuous series of bankruptcies and failures to pay off debts, the man couldn’t get a loan in the United States for a gumball.  So, he turned to Russia.  And now he owes them.  Which everyone would see in those tax forms.  So, yeah, he’s more or less broke.  Like a one-legged Barbie.”

Or like what happened to Superman when Jimmy Surpenski’s mom told him that the dog didn’t really go to a “farm upstate.”

Queeferton officials have stated that they’re still willing to hold the rally on another date if the check is covered, along with a $35 return fee within three weeks of the event, but so far no adminstration officials have been willing to comment.

Several also complained that their own paychecks were distributed to them without a signature – “accidentally.”

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