Rand Paul Wants More Free Healthcare Coverage for Baby Boomers

Senator Rand Paul was the first United States Senator to test positive for COVID-19.  This normally far-right Republican had an epiphany during his potentially life-threatening experience during his quarantine time with his wife Pauline and his daughters Paula and Paulette.  For the first time in his life, Rand Paul was in touch with the common man.

An unusually stoic and reserved Rand Paul had this to say to reporter Joe Barron:

“We were all at the dinner table eating our supper when it occurred to me that I was very lucky to be part of the United States Senate and have my full medical cost covered.  I thought of poor Addison and Loretta down the street and they don’t have health insurance.  If they get sick, they’ll lose the farm because of the medical bills.  An expansion of Medicare would stop that.  It’s just not fair dammit!  It’s just not fair!!”

He then left the interview crying into his Armani handkerchief.

Senator Paul was seen having lunch with Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez where patrons overheard them talking about wealth inequity and how much overt discrimination the poor face when it comes to leading healthy lives.  Sources say that Sanders and Ocasio-Cortez came away impressed by the change in Senator Paul from his normal ‘Let them have cake.’ persona to a Senator who can finally relate to more of his constituents.

COVID-19 has impacted the lives of most of the world.  While it is tragic when anyone is impacted by this terrible disease, it is good to know that we have people like Rand Paul on our side fighting health care for everyday Americans like you and me.

About Pete Strocker 26 Articles
Pete Strocker (1821-1907, reborn in 1974) was good friends with Frederick Douglass before he left to form the first actual space force. With nothing but a Sith Lord and hundreds of stormtroopers and guys wearing red shirts, he ascended to the rank of Captain in Starfleet in 9 years, commanding 3 Star Destroyers until he wisecracked the Sith Lord and was killed by way of Force Lightning. Pete was reborn in 1974 when someone designing Pong hit the reset button. He has learned to not mess with Sith Lords and has instead turned to hard hitting journalism in the America’s Last Line of Defense Network.

Be the first to comment