Nancy Pelosi Orders Mandatory IQ Tests for All Republicans in Congress


In a stunning new development, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi ordered all Republicans members of the House to take mandatory IQ tests. Any Republican not scoring at least 50 on the test – a very high bar for Republicans — will be denied the right to vote on House bills. It is only the latest blatant attempt by Pelosi to consolidate power and make it easier for her to ram through her socialist policies, all to the detriment of patriotic Americans.

Pelosi Spokesperson Joe Barron had this to say:

“As Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi has the power to do what she wants. This was clearly established by the Batt Act of 1545 and later codified in the Karma Sutra, which is the foundation of our modern constitution. While most Americans are likely unaware of this power, former Speaker of the House John Boehner frequently made use of it by ordering Congressional Democrats he didn’t like to clean bathrooms, fetch him cigarettes and iron his underwear. Payback’s a bitch.”

Reached in self-exile at his home, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy was despondent:

“Sure, we gave the Democrats a hard time when we had the House. It was fun to watch them clean the bathrooms and struggle with Boehner’s tighty whities, but it was all just a joke! Pelosi has taken this to extremes. Just the other day she shut off Jim Jordan‘s access to WrestlingHub and ordered Louie Gohmert to wear a pink tutu at the National Prayer Breakfast. And now she wants us to take an IQ test? At least half of us are going to fail!”

Republicans failing IQ tests is not good news for our democracy. Has Nancy Pelosi finally taken things too far? We report, you decide.

About Watt A Plonker 41 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London, where he shares a flat with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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