RNC to Hold Convention at Trump Tower

The Republican National Convention has been looking for a home for months.  It was scheduled to take place in Charlotte, NC, but the liberal Democrat governor refused to allow the convention to take place there. So it was on to Jacksonville, Florida from there, but alas, that was not to be either.

Pesky rules and a Democratic hoax will not deter our Dear Leader. Today, President Trump announced that he will hold the Republican National Convention at Trump Tower in New York. This will be a move that will cost the taxpayers of the country practically nothing. Everyone associated with the Convention will be staying in the tower so there will be nearly no travel budget outside of the full delegation arriving in New York. He practically dared anybody and everybody to stop him.

Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, who looked a bit flush, spoke with America’s Last Line of Defense reporter Sandy Batt about this move.

“This is an historic and truly unprecedented event in our nation’s history.  Once again, President Trump is looking out for the American people and making this convention move forward on schedule and on budget. Is it warm in here?

The fact that all of the delegates will be able to stay at Trump Tower makes security easier and travel much simpler. Since it’s in New York City, the room rates are higher than Charlotte or Jacksonville but we’re offsetting that by having a free continental breakfast WITH A WAFFLE MAKER for the thousands of guests.

The convention will go on without any of that social distancing or mask nonsense and we’ll nominate President Trump for *cough* excuse me, four more *cough* years. I need to get some water.”

Everything that Donald Trump has done is for the American people and his sacrifice of putting all of the delegates into the Trump Tower for at least a week further drives this point home. When you hit the polls, remember who always puts you ahead of his own interest and Keep America Great Again!

About Pete Strocker 19 Articles
Pete Strocker (1821-1907, reborn in 1974) was good friends with Frederick Douglass before he left to form the first actual space force. With nothing but a Sith Lord and hundreds of stormtroopers and guys wearing red shirts, he ascended to the rank of Captain in Starfleet in 9 years, commanding 3 Star Destroyers until he wisecracked the Sith Lord and was killed by way of Force Lightning. Pete was reborn in 1974 when someone designing Pong hit the reset button. He has learned to not mess with Sith Lords and has instead turned to hard hitting journalism in the America’s Last Line of Defense Network.

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