Mike Lindell’s Son To Headline New MAGA Rally

AMAZING!

One thing that’s important about former President Trump’s accomplishments and legacy to our country, is passing it forward to younger generations of conservatives to keep the dream alive.  Twenty-two year old Ron “Hedgehog” Lindell is up and atom and ready to, as the kids say, “pop that cause’s patriotic coochie.”

With a brand new series of rallies scheduled to begin in May, the stage is set for the young pillionaire’s son to have his debut in the public eye, prepared to fluff up the audience at the start of each event.  With his father’s good looks and his mother’s sharpness and way with words, he’s sure to be a bang-up figure to watch in 2021 and beyond.

Lindell’s wife Petunia is a former crack cocaine entrepreneur, and currently serves as MyPillow’s corporate ass-model.

Talent agent and Fleshlight magnate Sandy Batt says the young man’s star is about to really slam through the back door and take America’s Trump lovers by surprise.

“Ron is just a wonderful man on stage and has a real presence.  I first saw him in a play, where he had the part of a pizza delivery man.  The sheer strength, power, and hypnotic bounce he brought to the role can only be described as bonerriffic.  I have the feeling Mike and Mr. Trump have really found themselves a David Copperfield-esque figure here, one who will last at least through the first ten minutes of his fame with rigid class.”

Although he will be new to the political scene, sources assure fans that Ron will be true to his father’s work, citing his experience in the field of testicle massage and banana polishing, and his associate’s degree in the Blumpkin Arts from Trump University.

Event organizers stress that tickets are already going like gangbangers for the first several rallies, so all of you red-hatted faithful Donald-dickers might want to start rubbing out your running shoes.  These shows aren’t going to end up in the cheap video section hidden under the black towel at your local liquor store.

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