‘Students Against Trump’ Refuse to Stand for Pledge

ADORABLE!

As political discourse spreads, those that become more involved in the selection of the icons who will control their future become younger and younger.  That helps to explain the “Students Against Trump” movement which is starting to spread massively across the United States, boasting hundreds of thousands of educated and concerned schoolkids ranging from grades one through twelve.

Kenny Finkledick of the 7th grade didn’t participate, however, and was swirlied into unconsciousness after third period.

The movement, which started just after the 2016 election was spearheaded by then 12-year old Joe Barron of Reynolds Middle School in Queeflington, Colorado, who became an activist after suffering a week of nightmares in which he claims he saw Donald Trump : “riding Beyonce like a horse with devil’s horns and sword made of dildoes screaming that he was gonna grab my mom by her puss make her have Thanos babies.”

The refusal to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance took place last Friday and will continue, the group’s spokeschildren say, every Friday until Trump is no longer in office.  Eight-year old Sandy Batt of Ohio’s Miles O’Brien Elementary School told reporters from CNN about why they dislike the President in what appeared to be the most adorable interview ever.

“Mister Trump?  Um.  Um.  He doesn’t like girls at all, like Tommy Burfenglurp in my science class.  He finks that having a berginer means you’re stupid.  Well HE’S stupid and smelly fartery too!  When we see grown-ups with the red hats and the shirts because they like the big fat man on tv with the wig hair, it’s scary because it means they’re really old and dumb.  Me and my friends don’t want to be old and dumb when we grow up so we want everybody to tell the big monster dummy to go away, maybe to the jail that they put Harry Potter’s uncle in so he couldn’t get out.  Hah!”

“I stole a time machine, was truant, assaulted my classmates and teachers, and aided and abetted criminals. But I’m a strong female role model!”

The Democratic advocate then explained that she fully supported the later redemption of Sirius Black as well as that of reformed produce-thief Bugs Bunny.  But not Trump.  The failed and impeached President, she felt, should be “buried in poopy armpit holes.”

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