You have to be careful nowadays if you’re trying to have a clandestine meeting to garner some favor with someone who might be able to tip the scales a little in your favor during an election. There are cameras everywhere, and with the proliferation of cell-phone video technology, amateur detectives on every sidewalk. You’d have to be more careful than Jill Biden.
An anonymous source last week sent two photographs of what they say is Mrs. Biden having a sit-down meeting in secret with Joe Barron, the Ballotmaster General of the United States Postal Service. Barron is solely responsible for controlling the distribution and sorting of all of America’s mail-in ballot forms. Appointed by President Obama in 2014, Barron previously worked for A.C.O.R.N., managed musical instrument maintenance for Grammy-winning duo Milli Vanilli, and once served as a substitute chemistry teacher for infamous cult leader Jim Jones.
Many liberal media outlets dispute the photos, noting that no faces are in any way visible, the woman pictured appears to be African American in complexion, and the supposed Postal Department figure also seems to be an infant child in a bassonette. However, both The Blaze and Brietbart For Simpletons have confirmed the photos as legitimate after meeting at a table behind a shuttered Blockbuster video store and conducting the Ritual of Journalistic Dickery as outlined in the Mormon Book of Latter Day Magic.
Whether or not the photos are anywhere near real makes very little difference in the world of Donald Trump’s marching parade of gullible dipshits, who instantly believe any nonsense, no matter how irrational, as long as their morbidly obese tardmonkey appears less stupid. If the obviously sent-in-by-trump-jr’s photos were dental x-rays, all the teabagging old lobotomy cases would totally believe they were evidence that Dr. Fauci invented gingivitis.
Will this unbeliwvable revelation harm the Biden campaign? It’s unlikely. Trump has pretty much alienated nearly all of his base except the bottom two percent of racist Hills Have Eyes extras anyway. Don’t forget to sign your ballot, patriot, and mail away!