Sean Hannity to Leave Fox News for Russia’s RT Network

Fox News Star Pledges to Unite Russia and America.

In a surprise move, Sean Hannity has announced that he will be leaving Fox News to join Russia’s premier TV network, Russia Today (RT). Russia Today was founded in 2005 and is fully funded by the Russian government. While Hannity will be primarily focusing on the English channel version of RT, he will also be making appearances on the All-Russia State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company (VGTRK), which is the official media outlet of the Russian government.

While Hannity was unavailable for comment, his spokeswoman and confidante Sandya Battoviskaya had the following to say:

“Sean has become increasingly disillusioned with American television, even Fox News. I mean, they won’t even let him tell fart jokes about Joe Biden any more. And he’s had it with his colleagues’ constant criticism of Putin. Sean knows full well that Vladimir Vladimorovich Putin is the rightful leader of the world and, along with President Trump, wants to help him bring America into Russia’s orbit. That, along with a substantial increase in salary, makes this move a logical next step.”

Meanwhile, the folks at Russia Today are enthusiastic about Sean Hannity’s move. Viktor Yushchenko, head of RT’s Trump News division agrees:

“We could not be more excited to bring Sean Hannity into our fold. He is the one person that can do for Putin what he did for Trump. President Putin personally intervened to make sure this move would happen.”

Alexey Soskovets, Director of Glavset, Russia’s famed Internet Research Agency and frequent contributor on RT, adds:

“We have not had an opportunity like this since 2016, when President Trump won the election. We look forward to working with Mr. Hannity and intend to use his relationship with President Trump and the American media to bring America and Russia closer together.”

This is an exciting opportunity for all involved. As they say in Russia: Трамп-сука Путина.

About Watt A Plonker 40 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London, where he shares a flat with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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