* Author’s note : this particular article was written before the Superbowl was actually finished and the featured image was left until the last minute. Therefore some details of the gameplay, sporting action, and actual event happenings may be presented in a vague manner. We do not apologize in any way for this inconvenience.
It’s that time of year again, for the bug kahuna of American football, the Superbowl. If you put together how important the sport of arm wrestling was to both Sylvester Stallone and Sammy Hagar in the movie “Over the Top”, that’s how many citizens treat NFL football, with the exception of a few bumblefarts who are still filling their diapers over kneeling or whatever.
This year, Superbowl LV, Arabic shorthand for “55”, was between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Miami Buccaneers. What? Oh, Tampa Bay. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers. And what a contest it was. The Chiefs drew first blood with 3 points, according to Google, thanks to the quick thinking of their one guy that does ads for razors.
Orlando’s star quarterback Peter Brady put on a hell of a show, throwing nearly all of the passes for his entire team. Chief’s QB Joe “Dancy Legs” Barron strove to keep up, and thanks to completions by at least three key guys, probably, gave the Buccs a run for their money.
By now we all know who was victorious and boy, was that exciting, right? Did you see that pass that went right across where the Viagra ad was in the stands?
Absolutely incredible! Mr. You-Know-Who is definitely going to get MVP for that beautiful nonsense!
Anyway, even though the best team won, they’re refusing to go to the White House because the towel boy is a trumptard who thinks the election was somehow stolen, yes, even now. It was decided that nobody wanted the dumbass kid to cry all night, so they told him they cancelled and then locked him in a toilet stall wrapped up in jockstraps.
So maybe it’ll happen later. Great game!