Every year since 1969, August beings about a tradition started by the New York Times newspaper. The carefully determined list of the most powerful one hundred women in the world, determined by a host of factors, and respected over the globe as a badge of honor and role model example. This year, both the number one and number two spots were taken by the Clinton family, with Hillary sitting at the top, and her millionaire daughter just below in second.
Hillary Clinton has been, and still Is, the most recognizable female face on earth, and sits at the head of the powerful Clinton Foundation. Her technical Presidential victory over Donald Trump shows her popularity and style, with nearly 85% of all Americans retroactively wishing she was in the White House instead.
The younger Clinton, Chelsea, is a protege, successful CEO and businesswoman, as well as best-selling author. She is disliked by the drooling evolutionary mistakes that identify as Trump supporters as much as her mother, however, these are damaged human beings who mostly serve as reminders that some older people should be strapped into nursing home chairs like hostages on any given episode of Hunter.
Also on the list, Greta Thunberg, environmental activist who took the United Nations by storm at number three. Corona virus expert and vaccine worker Sandy Batt comes next with her work using nail polish remover and Miller Light beer to make great strides in pandemic medicine. Television personality Whoopi Goldberg also made the top ten for correctly referring to the President as a pathetic useless dipshit sandwich. She was also recognized for excellence in space bartending.
Some critics of the list were shocked by a seeming snub of First Lady Melania Trump, who made the list at a dismal number 69, sandwiched in-between Candy Lickems, an erotic dancer in Hoboken, and Lucy Van Pelt, a 50-year old fictional comic character who douchily yanks footballs away from troubled children and lusts after a gay pianist. Maybe next year, best-be-er.