Trump Appoints Administration’s First ‘Fake News’ Czar

It's about time!

On Tuesday President Donald J. Trump signed an executive order directing Attorney General William Barr to prosecute any and all journalists accused of reporting fake news.

Specifically, Trump ordered Barr to aggressively go after the usual suspects, while exempting OAN and Fox News. Also included in the executive order were fake polls that show President Trump lagging behind his opponents.

In typical Trump fashion, the president announced his executive order via tweet:

Underscoring Trump’s determination in battling the fakes news media was his decision to immediately tap Half Star General Al “Bot” Fritsch to be the first Fake News Czar in the history of the United States.

Fritsch will head up the newly established White House Office of Minitruth. Half General Fritsch is well known for his uncanny ability to detect fake news and always be the first person to comment on Facebook posts.

Asked to comment, Half General Fritsch would only provide the following response:

Reached by Senior White House correspondent Joe Barron, White House counselor Kellyanne Conway provided the following spin:

“Half General Fritsch is a true American Potatriot who worked his way up from President Trump’s personal ball washer at the Mar A Lago golf course to his current position as half star General in the janitorial division of the United States Space Force. At Space Force he has been working tirelessly to test space toilets in a vacuum chamber in order to identify ones that work without having to flush them fifteen times. He is the perfect fit for Fake News Czar. After all, fake news and fake toilets have a lot in common!”

This is indeed an encouraging development that will hopefully finally put an end to the scourge that is fake news!

About Watt A Plonker 41 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London, where he shares a flat with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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