President Donald J Trump is set to make history again this month, sources close to the American Hero says. According to our sources, The President is readying his Executive Order Pen to change our great country for the better.
In a shocking and bold move, staffers are whispering that The President is going to issue an Executive Order outlawing Impeachment, with the caveat that it may only be used by Republicans against the corrupt and evil party formerly known as “Democrats.”
Susan Collins has praised the move.
“He’s making history, he’s making real changes that will benefit Republicans and disadvantage Democrats for the rest of our lives,” she gushed. “This is what America needs, to heal.”
The President’s favorite staffer, a young lady who brings him his McDonald’s orders, had this to say: “He told me that he felt the Impeachment process as it is now is extremely unfair. It’s corrupt and evil. But, seeing as all Republicans are good and wonderful, then it needs to be re-worked so that the angelic and Holy Republicans can use it as a weapon against the Satanists.”
Our reporter, Poppy Cox, asked her to clarify, and she corrected herself.
“I meant Democrats. Sorry.”
No apologies necessary, “Tiffany!” You keep those Big Macs coming to our wonderful President! It’s his “Executive Order Writing Fuel!”