Tucker Carlson Caught in Love Triangle With AOC

wife susan threatens divorce

It is no secret that Tucker Carlson has been acting a bit strange as of late.

The long time staunch ally and defender of President Donald Trump would arguably not be in the position he is in at Fox News if it hadn’t been for the support of the president.

Yet his behavior over the past few weeks has many people wondering what the heck is going on. For example, he dismissed renowned attorney Sidney Powell’s valid claims and even challenged her on live television, causing her to walk off the set in disgust.

This leads us to question where his true loyalties lie. After all, he was employed by CNN and MSNBC throughout most of the 2000s, where he appeared alongside known liberal commentators such as David Axelrod and James Carville, among others.

As if that weren’t strange enough it has now come to light that Mr. Carlson has been caught in an apparent love triangle with squad member Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and another, as yet to be identified, mysterious third woman.

The story came to light after police were called to Ms. Ocasio-Cortez’s New York City apartment by her neighbors, who had heard loud noises, including animal sounds such as barking and squealing, as well as loud laughter coming from the apartment.

According to the police report, three people were found in the apartment, all of whom were wearing erotic leather outfits. Numerous adult toys and dominatrix implements were also found.

The police report specifically mentions Mr. Carlson and Ms. Ocasio-Cortez by name, but the mysterious third person – a female – is only referred to by the initials “C. C.”.

The incident report concludes by stating that no foul play was observed and that the occupants of the apartment were asked to keep it down.

Neighbor Joe Barron, who has known Ms. Ocasio-Cortez for over ten years, was quick to point out that this was nothing unusual:

“I used to hang out at the bar where Alexandria used to work before she got elected to congress, and I’ve been her neighbor for years.

She was always into kinky stuff and hung out with a lot of liberal celebrities after work. I know for a fact she’s good friends with lots of famous people.

Then one day, about two months ago, I noticed the Secret Service hanging around the building once or twice a week. I know for sure that neither Tucker nor Alexandria have Secret Service protection, so it had to have been that third woman.

Every time the Secret Service was there, I kept hearing those noises coming from the apartment.

I might be wrong, but the only people afforded Secret Service protection outside of current officials are the families of former presidents, so your guess is as good as mine.”

Asked why, of all people, Tucker Carlson would be having an affair with the two women, Mr. Barron replied “I guess he just got tired of being Trump’s gimp and was looking for something more exciting.”

Will Tucker Carlson’s career survive these allegations? More importantly, will Potatriots™ continue to support him? Time will tell.

About Watt A Plonker 41 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London, where he shares a flat with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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